It's cold and it's raining and it's annoying me because tomorrow is Halloween and HELLO MOTHER NATURE I CAN'T PUT UP MY DECORATIONS IN THE RAIN!!!!
I checked www.weather.com and it said that it's supposed to partly cloudy and 68 degrees tomorrow. I have to work from 2-5 so I better wake up early and do it or I'm gonna not get it done at all.
I'm going on vacation in like 2 weeks. Nov 13-17. I'm flying JetBlue and I leave from JFK which kind of sucks because I'm trying to get my mom to drive me there at like 3am since it takes like 329429347 hours to get there in all the construction and other random nonsense bullshit.
I'm at work now...so bored. Someone keeps calling the office phone and I don't know if I should answer it or not. If it's someone who works here, they should know to call the other line...unless no one shut off the voice mail.
Anyways...it's freezing and I'm cold and tired and I want to go back to bed and curl up under the covers and sleep.
On another note...GTA: San Andreas is amazing.
I love it.

ciao
xoxo ;*

painted from memory

Since you put me down

It seems

I've been very gloomy

You may laugh

But pretty boys look right through me.

elvis

Don't read so much into things...

I want this song to be the song that touches you the most. I want this song to be the song that makes you cry your eyes out every night I lay awake. For everyone it feels the same, replace her face, immune the pain... another shadow in a flame. I want this heart to be the heart that you will break the most. I want the chance to make it last but realize it wont. Rip it out, pin it against the wall. It looks so nice bleeding there, like artwork even. In the middle an empty broken frame...every piece remains unchanged. 21 years went by without a valentine, 21 years of crying out my stupid fucking eyes. 21 summers with an empty void inside. 21 winters with no whites in my eyes. 21 autumns with frigid cold hands, and 21 springtimes with myself to smell the flowers in bloom. 21 years without you.

So last night I went over to my brother's house. Hung out with him and Jess and Mike for a bit. Mike is hot and really nice. He shared his blanket with me because we were sitting on the couch by the window. There was a draft coming in under the AC and it was like 45 degrees outside. I was there till about 12 when we started watching the Recruit. Al Pacino and Colin Farrell :d...
So we get to the part in the movie where Colin's character has just called Al's on the payphone after being at the boxing gym and Jess said she had to go to bed cause she had to wake up for a field hockey game at like 8ish. So of course my brother says he's going to bed too, thus leaving me alone with Mike. Did I mention Mike is hot? Anyways...I would've gladly stayed, although I don't know Mike very well and he's picky about girls (so my brother says-which leaves me out since I'm not usually the kind of girl "picky" guys go for). So I left, leaving poor Mike all alone to watch the movie on this huge ass big screen tv (which was not there the last time I was over...and I really don't know who bought it). Any-hoo...I had a good time. Much better than sitting in my room staring at the computer screen wondering about someone and why they won't talk to me. Tonight is the game. I'm bringing my new camera and it's going to be fun. Maybe I'll go back to the house afterwards since I don't have to work tomorrow (Thank God).

Smile.

I try...over and over again to make him see me.
I want him to see me.
I want him to hold me in his arms.
I just...want him to tell me everything I want to hear.
It's just something that's tucked away in my head.
Something that would be really nice if it ever happened.
But it won't.
Because he doesn't.
He doesn't see me.
He doesnt want me.
He will never say those words I want to hear.
I just want someone to love me.
I'm reaching out to people I normally wouldn't.
I'm acting in ways I normally wouldn't.
*sigh*
I don't even know anymore.
I'm about to give up everything.
I'm about to give up caring about everything.
Just....done.

just..me

So...I took this thing
http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes1.htm
and the paragraphs below is my result...and yes...it's just...simply me.
iNFj
The Counselor Idealists are abstract in thought and speech, cooperative in reaching their goals, and directive and introverted in their interpersonal roles. Counselors focus on human potentials, think in terms of ethical values, and come easily to decisions. The small number of this type (little more than 2 percent) is regrettable, since Counselors have an unusually strong desire to contribute to the welfare of others and genuinely enjoy helping their companions. Although Counsleors tend to be private, sensitive people, and are not generally visible leaders, they nevertheless work quite intensely with those close to them, quietly exerting their influence behind the scenes with their families, friends, and colleagues. This type has great depth of personality; they are themselves complicated, and can understand and deal with complex issues and people.

Counselors can be hard to get to know. They have an unusually rich inner life, but they are reserved and tend not to share their reactions except with those they trust. With their loved ones, certainly, Counselors are not reluctant to express their feelings, their face lighting up with the positive emotions, but darkening like a thunderhead with the negative. Indeed, because of their strong ability to take into themselves the feelings of others, Counselors can be hurt rather easily by those around them, which, perhaps, is one reason why they tend to be private people, mutely withdrawing from human contact. At the same time, friends who have known a Counselor for years may find sides emerging which come as a surprise. Not that they are inconsistent; Counselors value their integrity a great deal, but they have intricately woven, mysterious personalities which sometimes puzzle even them.

Counselors have strong empathic abilities and can become aware of another's emotions or intentions -- good or evil -- even before that person is conscious of them. This "mind-reading" can take the form of feeling the hidden distress or illnesses of others to an extent which is difficult for other types to comprehend. Even Counselors can seldom tell how they came to penetrate others' feelings so keenly. Furthermore, the Counselor is most likely of all the types to demonstrate an ability to understand psychic phenomena and to have visions of human events, past, present, or future. What is known as ESP may well be exceptional intuitive ability-in both its forms, projection and introjection. Such supernormal intuition is found frequently in the Counselor, and can extend to people, things, and often events, taking the form of visions, episodes of foreknowledge, premonitions, auditory and visual images of things to come, as well as uncanny communications with certain individuals at a distance.

the Joyce has struck again...

Watch out for this woman. She is armed with a bitchy attitude and is always ready to make a kid cry. One child even wrote a paper for school on "the mean lady at the library". She's famous for being rude to even the nicest of people. Be on the lookout.

has the world come to this?

These are supposed to be love spells. I was linked to them from the little welcome window that pops up when you sign on AIM or AIM express. I was fairly amused, but it's sad that people will actually pay money for a "psychic" to cast a spell on someone for this. For these particular ones, you pay $19.95 and provide the name of the object of your affection and a certain psychic will send you a letter in the mail saying exactly when they will be casting the spell on said person. Then you wait for them to ravage you. *eye-roll*

These are powerful words for you:
I want your love and your friendship. But more than that, I want you to desire me like no other. I want you to feel the heat running through your veins, and I want you to have strong, uncontrollable thoughts about holding me, caressing me, making love to me. When you think of me, your temperature will soar and lustful thoughts will fill your mind so that no matter what you’re doing you’ll be distracted and not be able to get me out of your mind. Think of me as you would a wild, carefree lover. And don’t hold back the lust you have in your heart. I’m yours – completely, totally yours. I want you to lust for me until you can barely stand it. I want you to rush into my arms the moment you see me, to fulfill so many of your fantasies. Let’s experience what others merely dream of. Let’s do it.
-Lust for me and you’ll be happily surprised at what I can do for you.
-Lust for me and we’ll be the envy of every one who knows us.
-Lust for me and we’ll live an incredible life together.
-Lust for me and make our world complete.

Here's another one called "the unconditional love spell":

-Love me like no other.
-Love me unconditionally.
-Be faithful and never be interested in another.
-Understand me. Know that I love you more than you’ll ever know.
Do you want the love of your life to have a strong desire to make you happy, desire you, take care of you? Do you want them to be deliriously happy and want to be with you night and day – forever?
You deserve to have the love of your life feel that you are the best thing to ever happen to them. You deserve to be happy, to feel wanted, cherished, adored.
You are not asking too much to want to see a spark in their eyes whenever they look at you. To be crazy about you. To give you their friendship, their lust, their love. And you want it unconditionally! No strings attached. No hesitation, no remorse, no doubts about you whatsoever.
And once you receive all that you deserve – their affection, their remarkable attention and devotion to you – you will make this very special person the happiest, most contented person on the face of the earth. All you ask is for your lover to give you unconditional love, and you will give them the world!

haha...maybe I'll try one and see if they work.