I...have been having really horrible dreams lately.
Every night there is restless sleep.
I really can't remember them, but I know that they make me want to stay asleep to end them.
I wake up feeling rushed and drained and lost.
All I remember from any of them is people hating me so much they want to hurt me.
I woke up today wishing I didn't have to work and could go back to sleep.
This all started New Years Eve. Those closest to me know what happened that day.
They can't leave me alone...I'm not safe even in sleep.
It's only January 8th. How am I going to make it through the whole month?
I want to feel safe. I want someone to hold me and tell me it'll all work out right and I'll be okay.

In other news...I think that I am going to audition for the tv show Starting Over. Because...I need to. I need to start over. I'm going to make my tape tomorrow and send it in on Monday. I hope it works out that they need a story like mine. Blah...it probably won't. But I guess all I can do is wait and see.